Welcome to the Tea

Welcome to the Tea

At Palmetto Reina, we feel it is important to bring up concerns that we face in our daily lives and the lives of those around us.

In this week's edition, we will be talking about an issue that faces most of the women we know on the daily; Mansplaining,

"..the explanation of something by a man, typically to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.1"

How many times have you been in a conversation with a man only to be cut you off so they can explain to you the details about the subject in the matter? This seems to happen quite often and we wonder why this happens because even when you assure the man that, 'you know what you are saying,' they still feel the need to confirm the correct version of the said subject matter.

Mansplaining dates back to before technology encouraged men to do so behind the safety of their keyboards. The verb splain has been in use for more than 200 years, originally as a colloquial pronunciation of the Late Middle English word explain. Rebecca Solnit wrote a paper on this issue and was published in April of 2008. "Men Explain Things to Me: Facts Didn't Get in Their Way." In the essay, Solnit told an anecdote about a man at a party who said he had heard she had written some books. The word had gained even more popularity in 2010 by the New York Times as one of its words of the year. Now this all could be harmless or it could be the beginning of another movement that had been taking place all along right under our noses, literally. Himpathy,

"Inappropriate sympathy given to men  or boys, especially those who are guilty of sexual transgressions.1"


This only paved way for men to start feeling as if they could get away with anything therefore constantly correcting other behavior and conversations. Playing down the idea that a woman knows what they are talking about because that was seen as something she would have only learned from her husband. An interesting concept if you think about it. If she has learned something from her husband and therefore was reiterating said knowledge to another man would that not make for the man to listen and trust the validity of the woman more? This subject has always intrigued me as I have seen the way men spoke to women as if they felt the need to correct or better dominate the conversation due to their gender roles. The expectation at the time was understandable and accepted only due to archaic laws and rules directed specifically towards women. By belittling the woman gave the man more power and with more power that had more control. Now send that concept down the generational line a century and how does this affect society today. 

Well in a world where women fight for equality, respect, and understanding it all comes down to one thing. Acceptance. Men do not accept women as their equal and that is due to many factors but one specific reasoning for this is competition. Men have compete with one another for as long as we can date back, starting as cavemen fighting for shelter to gladiators fighting for the death. What says they do not seek the same competition in their female counterparts. A Harvard reviewed paper by Selin Kesebir, mentions the following,

"The average woman is less competitive than the average man: she is less likely to describe herself as competitive and less willing to enter a competition."

Now, why is this? Who says that women are less competitive and what makes that okay for men to compete against women if they are considered unequal?

Lyman Abbot said it right,

"Man is not an inferior woman. Woman is not an inferior man.1"

This does not mean that we just end the conversation because someone said we cannot be compared. We encourage you to have this conversation with both men and women in your circle that you care about and want to educate. When it comes to social education regarding genders, we need to take the duty under our wing and tell it how it is because, no longer, will we allow ancient regimes to make the decisions for our people.

Thank you.

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